Tuesday, November 11, 2014

365 of 30: Day 9 Gaining Perspective

Today wasn't so much about going out and doing something to spread happiness, or help others, or even accomplish anything... it was more about remembering that I don't have anything to prove to everyone around me.

Stop trying to gain everyone's approval because it just isn't possible.

Try to just accept yourself without comparison. Stop wanting to be what you perceive those around you to be. Social media is killing our self-esteem. It's all about perspective- people post the things that make them look good. They share with their 'followers' the things that make them enviable to others. They are looking for compliments and they crave 'likes'. I can't even begin to count the number of times I look at people's pictures and read comments like, "can I be you?" or "I wish I looked like you". I hate it. To my way of thinking, it's not a compliment, but rather a sad way of letting the world know that you haven't accepted yourself and would rather idealize someone that you THINK is perfect because of their hair/makeup/house/job/body/etc. It's one thing to tell someone they look great or have a beautiful home, but another thing all together to sit back and compare what you don't have to what they do have.

Don't get me wrong, I do this very thing way too often... But I look at it like this: Would I want my kids to constantly compare themselves to others? No, of course not. So the best way to avoid that is to be an example to them. I want my kids to be able to give sincere compliments to others, but not because they envy them. I want my kids to be happy in their life, not pining away to live the life of someone else. There's one person in particular that I love to hate and hate to love. She appears to have a perfect life with nothing but rainbows and sunshine and flawless lipstick. I remind myself every time I see things posted from her that those are only her highlights. I don't need to envy her because of her outward appearances. I'm not her and I never will be. In fact, I realized recently, that her life is probably SO freakin' exhausting! To live in a way that you're just camera-ready at all times has got to be tiring! So, I figure, either she's walking around like a zombie from constantly having to check her makeup and hair and plaster on that fake smile, or, more likely, she simply puts out the persona in order to look good and get those compliments. So I take everything she posts with a grain of salt. She's not perfect, even though her Instagram account would try to say otherwise. She has her off days, too, even though people aren't assaulted with images of it. It really is all about perspective.

Accept yourself and your life. Do what you can to improve yourself where you want to, but stop trying to be who you are not. Easier said than done, I know. But worth it. Imagine not feeling guilty that you can't afford to take your kids and grandkids on an all-expense vacation to exotic lands or not feeling ugly every time you look at the selfies that girl from high school posts on Instagram??

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